Movie you are in Frank! Renaissance Community/Brotherhood of the Spirit

(from Penny Arcade:)

Revisiting Rapunzel

It was interesting to see a film about somebody I knew.

I couldn't believe it when I arrived at Northampton's Academy of Music for the premiere of UMass professor Bruce Geisler's new film about the Western Mass commune Brotherhood of the Spirit. There was a line at the box office that was so long it went all the way down the long sidewalk leading to the Academy, around the corner and stretching to the bus stop. I couldn't remember seeing a line like that for an Academy of Music show since the Ramones played there in the late 1970's! Later it said in the Collegian that the premiere was the best selling opening for a film (as opposed to a concert) in the modern history of the Academy.

There was no way my friend and I were going to get in the back of that line, despite the flute playing clown which entertained the line as they waited, because it looked likely that the line was long enough to have the show sell out before we could reach the ticket box. So I just made a video of the scene outside the Academy and resolved to return the next day. There was a line on Sunday too, but not nearly as long and I managed to get in.

I guess the huge turnout shows that even after all these years people are still fascinated by the question, "What the hell was going on at that commune up in the hill towns in the 70's and 80's?" In fact I would consider the story of the Brotherhood and its controversial leader, the drug-addled mystic Michael Metelica Rapunzel, to be the most important largely untold story in Western Mass history, the only more important one being the fall of Springfield at the hands of a brutal political machine. Both are essential topics for understanding why our Valley is what it is today, and neither story has ever been even half told.

Perhaps I should have predicted the film's popularity. Shortly after the death of Rapunzel I wrote a brief memoir of my visit to the commune for my website. I was surprised afterward to receive a stream of emails from people who had lived at the commune. This surprised me in part because my account was filled with sarcasm bordering on ridicule and was hardly flattering to Rapunzel or his followers. Yet a Google search showed that my article and another by Stephanie Kraft of The Valley Advocate were practically the only things available on the web about the commune. That supporters of the commune felt compelled to write to me about their experiences, despite my article's unsympathetic tone, suggested to me that there must be a real hunger out there to sort out what the commune meant, a task made difficult by the fact that there was nearly a total lack of any historical account of what had actually happened at the commune.
Personally I was unqualified to offer anyone that historical perspective. My account of the Brotherhood was based solely upon one visit I made to the commune that lasted only four or five days. I spent most of that time working in a vegetable garden, which was a tremendous culture shock for a street kid from Springfield. The commune members were obviously on some sort of spiritual trip, but in those days my idea of a spiritual quest was making it to the teenage keg parties in the woods next to Saint Michael's Cemetery. I only spent one evening in the company of Rapunzel, and I left convinced that Rapunzel was a shameless hypocrite and an obvious charlatan.

Interestingly, none of the commune members who contacted me argued much with my appraisal of Rapunzel. In fact several insisted that he was much worse than I had described. But what I found everyone saying was that I had missed something in my brief stay, that there was much going on at the commune that was very positive, very high energy and which had nothing to do with the dark psycho-dramas surrounding Rapunzel and his inner circle. Over and over again I kept reading the same thing in their emails, which was some variation of the phrase "the best time of my life."

I took going to see the film Free Sprits more seriously than I normally would when seeing a movie. I generally read the Valley Advocate soon after it hits UMass/downtown Amherst late on Wednesday afternoons. But this week I refused to read it because of the front page article by Andrew Varnon, which I didn't want to prejudice me in any way about what I would see. I wanted to watch the film clean, with no expectations or preconceptions and I also wanted to test my own memory against whatever I saw. I was afraid Varnon's Advocate article would trigger memories that would feed my biases.

What did I think of the film? At the end of the movie I gladly joined in with the thunderous applause. I was applauding not because the film was good, which it was, but because it had been made at all. I felt that an important missing piece of Valley history had finally been filled in, at least partially, and that it was a film whose importance surpassed its entertainment value. I would go so far as to say it is the one essential film this year that every resident of Western Mass must see.

I was pleased to discover that I saw little that clashed with my own recollections, in fact the film brought to mind things that I had long forgotten. It was strangely nostalgic to see pictures of the inside of the giant dormitory in Warwick (which I more accurately called "a barn") and the dining area where we ate our dreadfully bland vegan meals.
One scene in particular struck me, the one where everyone is shown running across a field. At one point I spotted among the runners a person being pushed along in a wheelchair, a very disabled spastic person with no control of his body movements. It brought to mind a long forgotten incident involving that very person, who one morning was laid out on a table in the barn. We were instructed to form a line and file past this pathetic person and look directly into his eyes. It was typical of the kind of crazy things we would do that were designed to break down any hang-ups you might have about your body, such as the nude sauna they had outdoors or the arrangement of the toilets in a circle so that you had to pull down your pants and shit in front of your friends. (Many, myself included, preferred to go in the woods rather than use those toilets.) Anyway, I remember looking into the eyes of that spastic and being startled, because I saw such awareness in those eyes that it was clear that there was an intelligent mind trapped inside that body.

I'm sure I'm not unique in feeling that important things were left out of the film. Part of that is inevitable; apparently the original director's cut was over three hours long, which would be commercial suicide for a documentary. But I found it unfortunate that so much was glossed over in the film about the commune's beliefs. The truth is there was no great philosophy guiding these people, just some vague altruistic impulses tied to generalizations based on the basic principles of most major religions, particularly Christianity, all mixed up with the cult of personality around Rapunzel.

But it would have expanded viewers insights had it been shown the way they were heavily into reincarnation, and how one of the most bizarre aspects of Rapunzel was his insistence that he was the reincarnation of Saint Peter, the apostle of Christ, and the Confederate Civil War General Robert E. Lee. Astute observers will notice in the many posters shown in the film that Confederate icons are everywhere, an aspect that is somewhat politically incorrect these days when the Confederate flag is considered by many as a symbol of racism. Indeed modern lefties will find much to dislike about the commune, especially its insistence on the subservience of women and its unfriendly attitude towards gays.
To its credit, the film is mostly honest about the dark side of the commune. Originally a kind of unstructured democracy, the commune became increasingly socialistic with all wealth eventually centralized in Rapunzel. In that sense the commune presented a microcosm of how socialism devolves into tyranny and of why socialism failed so consistently in the past century whenever it was tried. Once people weren't allowed to keep the money they earned, it was as much a road to ruin for the commune as it was for places like East Germany.

But fuzzy ideology and bad economics were not the most important reasons the commune failed. There was also the disastrous alliance between Rapunzel and a pair of crackpot mystics who insisted on "guiding" the commune with their magical powers. Once you're running your life in accordance with someone chanting in a trance about spirit guides, disaster must inevitably follow.

But nothing was more destructive than the drugs. The film insists the commune's ban on drugs was sincere, and I saw no drug use when I was there except what was offered to me by Rapunzel. Yet I'm inclined to believe those who have told me that the no-drugs rule was just a necessary pose to keep the rest of society at bay. Had the commune ever been seen as a pro-drug environment, that would have been all the authorities would have needed to squash the commune like a bug. The film buys into the notion that the Brotherhood was a sober meditation society, but I've spent a lot of time with stoned people and even in the earliest photographs most of these folks look wasted to me.

Interestingly the film says little about the one area where Rapunzel may have been a true visionary - video. He was not the first to embrace the notion that everything should be filmed, photographed, recorded or written about (that would be the Grateful Dead and the Merry Pranksters) but Rapunzel was certainly one of the early pioneers of that concept, especially in the area of the music video.

The saddest scenes of the film are the last interviews with Rapunzel, which show him in a shocking state of degradation, slurring his words, prematurely aged and cluelessly in denial about what has happened to him. If you want to scare kids away from drugs, just show side by side a picture of Rapunzel as he was at the beginning of the film and what he looked like at the end. Scared straight indeed.

Free Spirits is an important film for many reasons, but mostly because it forms the first real foundation for intelligent discussion of what the commune meant to our Valley. It had an influence far beyond its actual membership, functioning almost like a counter-culture university, sending its graduates out into Western Mass where they profoundly influenced the communities in which they lived. A lot of what makes us "The Happy Valley" was forged in the crucible of The Brotherhood of the Spirit. And say what you will about Rapunzel's bad end, the commune at its best was a living model of the notion that you can live your life the way you want, as opposed to what society expects of you, and if you will only have the courage to sincerely try, then you can create the life of excitement, spirituality and high adventure we all crave, especially in our youth. In that sense, it's no surprise that people later described it as the best time of their life.
As I was leaving the theater a giant balloon was hovering over Northampton.

* * * * *

I have not seen the movie. They wouldn't give me a copy. There is a home movie online from the community that contains a brief glimpse of me... And a wedding photo!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Skate til you die ! article in East Bay Express today !

The East Bay Express "SKATE TIL YOU DIE !" Article is online ! and in print
today ! [5/13/09]

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/ebx/Home

A picture of Jared and I is on the main page with our Alternative Tentacles
and Bones shirts !

And got a big article in the Arts and Culture section !
Mentioning Cytomax, Bobby Gs, Tankcrimes, f labels ,
Powell Peralta, Bones, Alternative Tentacles !

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/artsculture/skateboarding_down_the_bay/Content?oid=979295

Really cool quote by me about CYTOMAX and how important it is to me.

write to comment on our page
http://www.myspace.com/jtbskates

listen to the song SKATE TIL YOU DIE
http://www.instantasshole.com

We are getting new sponsors too. Earhammer Recording Studios, Monolith
Press, Macula Skateboards.

Thanks to everyone, for making this a special event.

Please check out the article and let me know what you think.
They use my real name, I asked them to and said it was ok.

peace,
John the Baker

* * * * *

kewl, John!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

have you seen this?

(from Penny Arcade:)

Michael Rapunzel

1950 - 2003

"The answer is never the answer. I've never seen anybody really find the answer -- they think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom." Ken Kesey

Michael Rapunzel, the founder of the largest commune in the Northeast (which was located at various sites throughout Western Massachusetts) died last week at the age of 52. I knew the guy in his heyday and considered him an egomaniac, a shameless hypocrite and as mad as a hatter. Still I found myself unexpectedly saddened by the news of his passing. Ironically he died not here in the Valley, where he had such an impact on thousands of lives over two decades, but in almost complete obscurity in upstate New York. The cause of death was listed as cancer, a surprisingly quiet and commonplace death for one who lived his life way out on the furthest edges of experience. I would have predicted his end as a drug overdose or suicide.

The first time I met Michael Metelica (his real name) was in a huge barnlike structure in Warwick Massachusetts, where about 75 people were living in sleeping bags that were spread
all over the structure every night and then rolled up and put away every morning. On the occasion of our meeting Michael was dressed in a Civil War military style coat, which had special significance because he considered himself to be the reincarnation of, among others, the Confederate Civil War General Robert E. Lee.

Rapunzel was well known in Springfield through his rock band Spirit in Flesh, whose posters were plastered everywhere around town in the 1970's. The band played frequently at the old
Capitol Theatre and The Paramount (now the Hippodrome). They even had a popular album now long out of print, but which I notice you can still buy at high prices from online rariety outlets. Rapunzel was the lead singer for the group, and their rock concerts were in part
recruitment rallies for the commune of which he was the spiritual head. Many people from throughout the Valley took the band up on their open invitation to visit the commune, and I was one of them.

I was quickly disillusioned by what I experienced there. For a commune headed by a rock and roll band the place was oddly puritanical, there was no drinking, drugs or sexual promiscuity
allowed, which was very disappointing. I mean why go and live in the woods with a bunch of hippies if you can't party? Also they had a farm out there that you had to work on everyday if you expected to stay. I worked on the farm and after several days of toiling under the blazing sun in a cucumber field, stooped over plucking weeds like some old-world peasant, I resolved I ain't gonna work on Michael's farm no more!

But what really ended my experiment with communal living was the food. Not only were the members puritans but they were vegetarians as well, so after breaking your back in the fields for
ten hours all you had to come home to was a bunch of rabbit food in a big wooden bowl. For dessert they had peanut butter on homemade bread. What shocked me was that this meager meal was considered by the commune members to be the high point of the day! I couldn't figure out what was wrong with these people that they were voluntarily choosing this lifestyle which if imposed on the convicts in a chain gang at a state prison would've resulted in a riot. At least in jail you get a hamburger now and then!

After about a week of visiting this hippie hellhole I was only too ready to head gratefully back to Springfield, and it was then that I first encountered Michael Rapunzel. I had not met him earlier in my stay because Rapunzel did not live with the rest of us in the big barn full of sleeping bags. He and his girlfriend, as well as other band members, lived in an old farmhouse on the property
which was off limits to the regular commune members. I also knew by then that Rapunzel claimed to be the reincarnation of other historical figures besides Robert E. Lee, including Saint Peter, the apostle of Jesus and the founder of the Catholic Church.

My last afternoon at the commune Rapunzel suddenly appeared among us dressed in his Robert E. Lee personna. He immediately zeroed in on me as if I were the only person in the room (there were dozens of us present) and greeted me as if I were an old friend. I was surprised to realize just how old a friend he considered me to be! Rapunzel told me that when he was living his past life as Saint Peter, he had known me in my past life as a shepard who tended a flock just outside of Jerusalem. Apparently I was a shepard with a philosphical bent, since Michael/St. Peter claimed to have spent many evenings discussing spiritual and intellectual matters with me under the stars as I tended my sheep.

I'd like to say I laughed in his face upon hearing this ridiculous story, but I didn't. I didn't in part because Rapunzel had an odd charisma about him that was hard to define but quite powerful. Somehow he had a way of making you want to believe him, no matter how nonsensical his comments were. I was somewhat immune to his charms because I didn't fall for his lies, but I didn't laugh at him either. I just said "Wow, that's cool," or something to that effect. Besides, why be rude to a friend you haven't seen in nearly two thousand years?

That night, as I was asleep in my bedroll ready to split from the commune the first thing in the morning, someone shook me awake. "Gather your things and come with me," the man said.
"Rapunzel wants to see you." A few minutes later I was crossing the grassy field between the communal home and the farmhouse, the way shown by a swaying kerosene lantern held by my mysterious guide.

Soon we arrived at the mystic's dwelling. Once we were inside the farmhouse the guide
vanished. The initial sensation I experienced was the strong smell of marijuana smoke. Sitting there in the living room, shirtless, barefoot and wearing only an old pair of jeans, sat my biblical
companion Michael Rapunzel, also known as Saint Peter, the Viceroy of Christ, also known as General Robert E. Lee, the military genius of the old Confederacy, the lead singer and songwriter for the rock band Spirit in Flesh, also known as the great guru of the commune known as The Brotherhood of the Spirit, the Pied Piper of Western Massachusetts and the Grand Wizard of Warwick - smoking a big fat joint with a half-empty bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken sitting in
front of him. I stood before him with my mouth hanging open in total awe, not of Rapunzel, but of the Kentucky Fried chicken. After a week of hard labor and vegetarian dining I was ready to kill for a chicken wing!

Rapunzel offered me some chicken and also the joint. As the evening went on we drank wine and then split a qualude as well. That might be why I can't recall much of what Rapunzel told me that night. I know he said a great deal, in fact he showed little interest in me except as a captive audience for his long rambling monologues. I guess he didn't care what I thought, because he knew I would soon be leaving. He was interesting and persuasive, although it no doubt helped that I was too stoned to think twice about anything he was saying. While I don't remember the details, I know that the gist of what he said was that he had been reborn to save the world, and that this fast growing commune was merely the modest beginnings of a global movement. I did not argue with him. I was so zonked out it was all I could do to keep from drooling.

I left the next morning just as I had planned, although much later than I intended, having slept late in my drugged state. Michael was in bed and did not get up to say good-by. I remember I stole a joint off the coffee table when I left, and departed with plenty to think about. What I mostly thought was what a two-faced bastard Rapunzel was. Here were his faithful followers
living on lettuce, working like slaves and rejecting all pleasures; and here was Rapunzel, their spiritual leader, living in the seclusion of the farmhouse and leading a life of complete hedonism!

What was most weird about the people in that commune was the way they were so blind to what a con-man Rapunzel was. These were folks who had come to the commune to drop out of society and who regarded the modern world with such skepticism and distrust that they wanted to live like people in a pre-industrial age. Yet when fed a story by a guy claiming to be the reincarnation of St. Peter and Robert E. Lee, they would accept that shuck and jive without a hint of disbelief. There was a lesson in there somewhere about the need for some people to believe in something even when the evidence is against it, simply because that's the easier thing to do. The commune
members imagined themselves in the vanguard of a new lifestyle, a movement that would sweep the world. But what they were really doing was indulging themselves in evasive behavior, letting Rapunzel think for them so they could have the luxury of not thinking for themselves. I left pitying them.

I also learned a little something from the way I'd reacted to the sight of that Kentucky Fried chicken. I realized that the limited and deprived way the people on that commune lived was part of what gave Rapunzel his power. Make people eat lettuce all the time and they'll go crazy with gratitude when you finally offer them a chicken wing. I've noticed since then that on some level that same kind of withold and grant game is at the root of every destructive power relationship I've ever seen.

I never revisited the Brotherhood of the Spirit again, but followed their exploits as best I could through the local media. They eventually left Warwick and settled in several other Western Mass communities, usually to the alarm of the good citizens already living there. At one point Rapunzel had everyone in the commune apply for welfare, then made them all turn over their checks to him. The scam caused such an uproar that the legislature revised the welfare laws to prevent it from continuing. Eventually Rapunzel was rejected by his own followers for his drug and alcohol abuse. For a while he was allowed to stay in the commune, but without his dictatorial powers. Finally he was thrown out for good, and by that time the name of the group had been changed to The Renaissance Community. It still exists today, but as a pale shadow of its former
self. As for Rapunzel, he finally cleaned up his act as far as dope and booze went, but it was too late. In a photograph of him that appeared in the Sunday Republican a few years back he was almost unrecognizable, a bloated ruin of the charismatic leader I had known.

So now he's dead. What was the meaning of his crazy life? I guess we never quite got around to figuring out the meaning of life on those long nights he claimed we spent, he and I, on the fields outside the walls of Jerusalem. Or maybe he told me what the meaning of life was that night we spent on drugs in the farmhouse in Warwick, and in my stoned stupor I forgot. I don't know. I don't have any answers.

Good-by Michael Rapunzel, whoever you were.

* * * * *

ah yes, a few years ago I googled SPIRIT IN FLESH and got this. And then got on the brotherhood's email list and quickly became a Thorn in their side... The carnal devil! When I got there, Michael was just turning. Funny, when people talk about cults, they talk like the leader forced the followers into insanity. This is to avoid personal responsibility. But in reality when a cult heads into insanity, the followers corner the leader by their expectations and their desire to escape their own personal responsibility for life. This createS a feedback cycle of co-dependency
[which is totally different from inter- dependency] which spirals downwards. This doesn't happen in most groups that could be defined as cults. But Michael was in way over his head.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

RE: Renaissance Community/Brotherhood of the Spirit (Rafael II)

(from Rafael:)

No, not expectations Frank: If you expect, it leads to deception, and you get weaker.

Espérer ne veut pas nécessairement dire avoir des attentes, malgré que ça va ensemble, c'est vrai...

* * * * *

you mean pictures of what SHOULD be... Which limit possibilities. But reality tends to be shaped by expectations. High expectations without pictures is the best, the most unlimited. Life is a battle of expectations.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

RE: Renaissance Community/Brotherhood of the Spirit (Rafael)

Frank,

I couldn't stop reading: passionating; Actually of very fuckedup story from a youngster's like myself point of view...

Driven by a dream, anything is possible with a dream for I believe dreamers shape reality :)

Rafael

* * * * *

yep, dreams and expectations shape reality.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

from penny arcade Re: Renaissance Community/Brotherhood of the Spirit

damn! well...keep on writing Sheherazade! I am hooked on the story!!!!!

love
penny arcade

* * * * *

well, penny, ask me questions. That fuels me... Or forces me to write!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: Renaissance Community/Brotherhood of the Spirit

Mr. Moore,

I understand that you once belonged to the Brotherhood of the Spirit/Renaissance Community.

I am currently writing a novel that will involve the commune to some extent. Consequently, I have been researching the commune for several months now. I will talk to absolutely anyone who has firsthand experience with the commune. I would love to talk to you, if you would be at all interested in talking to me.

I have talked to a number of people whose names I am sure you will recognize, including: Paul Skiathitis, Susan Weiss, John Carpini, Eric Hardendorf, Tom Snyder, Larry Raffel, Jim Baker, May Ristich, Cindy Prince, Melvin Weiner, Jacki Odess-Gillet, Bruce Geisler, and others.

If you're interested in talking, shoot me an email.

BEN DUFFY

* * * * *

sure!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

* * * * *

Mr. Moore,

I would begin by asking you:

1) When and why did you come to the commune?

2) When and why did you leave the commune?

3) What aspect of the commune were you involved with? I mean, did you work in any of the businesses, were you involved in the church, did you write for Free Spirit Press, etc?

Thanks a lot. I eagerly await your response.

BEN

* * * * *

well, ben... Here it is! Ask more questions!


Well, Ben, I was there from early summer 71 to late summer the next year. I was living in Santa Fe for the year before that. Do you know I have cerebral palsy? I am in a wheelchair, talk by a head pointer and a communication board, etc. it's only important for this tale. So in Santa Fe, I was basically a hippy, writing for the underground paper, living communally, visiting the major communes in northern New Mexico… Morningstar, the Hog Farm, The Theater of All Possibilities, etc. When I first got to Santa Fe, I lived in a Digger-style of commune, The Center, for two months. Then I lived with Louise Scott who was living communally in San Bernardino when I was going to college there. I lived with Louise, her eight year old son and her thirteen year old daughter Denise as well as various other people in various houses. Most people then knew me as Unicorn because of my head pointer. My column in the underground paper was called UNICORN SPEAKS. The general vibe of northern New Mexico was communally spiritual.

But I grew too comfortable there. And I knew that Louise wanted to move to the land. I ain’t a land kind of guy. And I was intimately lonely, wasn’t finding that kind of relationship. But we need to be clear. I had a rich, full, fun life there, full of friends, political and social activities, deep spiritual exploring. A lot of music and dancing! In fact Robert Downing Sr. saw me dancing at the local bar and offered me a role in his movie Greaser Palace.

But practically the next day I was volunteering at the crisis center, which was the latest version of the digger commune. There a couple was putting up posters that said “SPIRIT IN FLESH IS COMING! “ We started talking. They had an inner shine common to Yoga people and other cults. [I use the word “cults “ as a description, not a value judgment.] They told me about the commune they lived in in northern Massachusetts. Bonnie and Allen, the couple, were traveling around the country fliering for the commune’s band, Spirit in Flesh. They walked home with Denise and me, telling me I should come to the community. With 250 people there, they could deal with my physical needs, etc.

Well, that sounded good to me. And Bonnie was sexy, warm, etc. With 250 people maybe I’d find some one…

When I told Louise and my other friends about my decision, they were more than a little concerned. But they supported me. I put a sign in the record store for a ride to Massachusetts. A brother and sister answered. They had been students in the community free high school who were off to college in Vermont. We all often went to community dances. So we knew one another that way. So I traveled across the country in the back of their station wagon. They fed me, etc.

One problem. I beat Allen and Bonnie back to Massachusetts. So when the kids dropped me off at the commune’s house in Northfield, there was less than eager acceptance! But there was no way to send the crip back! And the two kids needed to be on their way to Vermont! So the vexed community members milled around me on the front yard, trying to figure out what to do with me. At one point, Michael, the leader of the community and the lead singer of Spirit in Flesh, walked up. In New Mexico I had been in contact with “holy men“, gurus, spiritual teachers, etc. The good ones saw some aspects of what they did as cons, saw themselves with a twinkling sense of humor, and had a certain lust for life that could be mistaken for being dirty old men. So after they had filled him in, I spelled out “I am a con man too. “ He just said, “he stays. I have been waiting for you.“ And he walked on. So that was that. Some women brought me in to the house, fed me, cleaned me up, etc. I thought my luck was holding. After the original freak out, the people in the house were warm.

That evening there was by chance a free Spirit in Flesh concert in Greenfield that the Northfield people were allowed to go to. It was an outdoor event. It was my first time hearing /seeing the band. Pretty good! So I started dancing in my wheelchair in the audience. But community members quickly frowned me down. My dancing was “carnal“! And besides a cripple dancing was disturbing the audience! I started wondering about my luck!

And that wondering intensified when I moved to Warwick the next day and attended my first COMMUNITY MEETING. Michael’s talk was alternately down to earth and pure spiritual nonsense! And afterwards most people said Michael had said the exact opposite than he had said. Beam me up, Scotty! Moreover, people kept coming up to me to say I must have done awful things in my past lives considering how ugly and physically fucked up I was! I wondered what they did in their past lives to be rude and spiritually stupid! But there I was. So better work with it! And Michael worked with me in a remote manner to create a personal myth around me, protecting me from the popular social game of brutal confrontation. First he said he wanted me to dance on the stage at the big concert at Carnegie Half a couple of months from then. This confused the people who thought I was carnal, etc. Then he added I was the same as him, saw the same as him, and he was preparing the world for me to do my thing. All of this confused people, made them treat me differently, carefully. I thought Michael had good intentions, but was so way over his head. He did not know how the world works. He did not think 250 people living happily in the community was enough to change the world. So he got seduced by glamour, by trying to be a success, a rock star, etc.

For the first couple of months I floated, mainly hanging out in the hallway outside of the kitchen at Warwick, talking to people, asking people to feed me, give me a drink, help me in the bathroom, etc. I made good friends. I also painted oils and typed on my electric typewriter poetry and a novel in the dining-room. But floating is a hard way to live, especially eating beets and rice. So I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, almost dying. Michael visited me in the hospital and appointed Russell and Sammy to me. Also he gave me special food money. When I got out of the hospital, Russell, Sammy and I shared a room in the Warwick main house. We became like the Three musketeers… Bad Boys. We traveled just below the commune’s rules, going outside of the community, hitching into adventures. Russell and I always pulling the fearful Sammy along. But Sammy always finally jumped! We traveled to the cities where the band was playing and talked to people, etc. and became a part of the concerts… All of this was against commune’s rules. But when THEY tried to bust us, kick us out of the van, whatever, Michael over ruled them, which confused them, stretching their reality. This was one of my roles. Things were leading up to the big concert at Carnegie Hall. Basically we three lived by our wits, without money, in New York City for the week before the concert, mainly hanging out in the Village… Sneaking into THE GASLIGHT and backstage… Having a wheelchair race down Beaker Street at two in the morning with a Vietnam vet, etc. The climax was me dancing on stage! And my first big public performance made it into CREAM MAGAZINE!

But after that, Russell wanted to move “up “ in the commune’s structure. So they moved me to Northfield. I again floated, but in a slightly more stable situation. I always was talking about how people needed to be more gentle with one another, be down to earth, and not so caught up in “spiritual “ glamour. This was not a politically correct stand right then, although there were a lot of gentle, down to earth people there. But at the time there was a fad, a plague, of channeling/automatic writings sweeping Northfield. It was supported by Michael’s sister, Jacquelyn [“Jackie “] and was pushed by Robin Paris, who had a strange relationship with the target of my romantic intentions, Debbie. One day Robin went into a trance and a spirit came through claiming to be my spirit. I happened to be in the room at the time. At first it built me up, flattering me. But when I kept saying “that ain’t me, my spirit” it started yelling at me, listing what a carnal shit I was, etc. This event put the breaks on the channeling /automatic writings fad! Debbie was officially moved back to Warwick in disgrace. [Warwick was the bottom of the ladder.] So I asked to be moved back to Warwick to be close to her. But she, Robin and Jackie disappeared for months. They were hiding out in New York City. Years later I would buy the loft they had used.

So in Warwick this go around, I lived in the plasticed-in porch. I became a night person to avoid most of the soap opera confrontations. So my room became a hang out for the creative people. There were two girls who mainly took care of me. Each often slept in my bed with me. Nothing sexual. Just cuddling. That is how dumb I was! But it played into my carnal reputation. In reality I was a virgin. Actually this was one of the things Michael worked on with me. One time he “gave” me his girlfriend for a week to show me how a woman should treat me. Unfortunately I did not know what he meant by “gave. “ So I didn’t take full advantage of his offer. Another time at a group meeting, Michael made a pronouncement: “Frank needs sex! “ I wasn’t at that meeting. I happened to be having my first actual fully sexual experience with my close friend, one of the back up singers. Because we had the love of friends, it was deep and rich. But because I was so romantically focused on Debbie, it was a one time thing. [Darn!] But it did set the frame for the week of strange sexual encounters with women who wanted to follow Michael’s directions by fucking me. Pretty shallow, not satisfying. I decided to hold out for Debbie.

Most of the people would not listen to me when I tried to tell them this spiritual glamour was spacing them out of this human life. But then one day, when I was typing, a spirit who later introduced himself as Reed, came through me, typing, "You are not typing this, Frank". At the beginning, I thought I made Reed up to get the people to listen, and to start creating my ideals in the world. But I may have been taking more credit than I deserved because Reed and two other spirits/characters/persons took on a reality of their own . People waited for the next "lecture" to come through. The spirits talked to people, guiding them (and me) to create a new personal community. I was saying the exact same things I had before. But now this spirit was saying it! People were listening seriously. Ah, the holy con job. Professor Beth and her husband… Who got both Michael and Elwood into their “spiritual careers”… Actually approached me to be the next Elwood. I declined.

To make a long story short, Debbie reappeared. I went for what I wanted with her, with the help of Reed. We got married. But it soon became clear that to have a strong personal relationship would have come in to conflict with certain commune’s factions. Jackie was trying to force Debbie to go apple picking for a month! I saw the writing on the wall. So we left. It was a little more than a year after I arrived.

I have tried over the years to manifest the core of what the Brotherhood of the Spirit was trying to do. I am satisfied! I went back about two years later. I was shocked by what the community and Michael had become.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Reality Playings on May 16 at 8pm in Oakland!

we shall dive deeper into the sea of unknown freedom!

The Underground Hit!

REALITY PLAYINGS: experiments in experience/participation performance

Frank Moore, world-known shaman performance artist, will conduct improvised passions of musicians, actors, dancers, and audience members in a laboratory setting to create altered realities of fusion beyond taboos. Bring your passions and musical instruments and your senses of adventure and humor. Other than that, ADMISSION IS FREE! (But donations will be accepted.)

Saturday, May 16, 2009
8pm

TEMESCAL ARTS CENTER
511 48^th Street (at Telegraph)
Oakland, CA 94609-2058

For more information

Call: 510-526-7858
email: fmoore@eroplay.com
http://www.eroplay.com/events.html
http://www.temescalartscenter.org/

"...He's wonderful and hilarious and knows exactly what it's all about and has earned my undying respect. What he's doing is impossible, and he knows it. That's good art...." L.A. Weekly

Resisting "the easy and superficial descriptions..., Moore's work challenges the consensus view more strongly in ways less acceptable than...angry tirades and bitter attacks on consumer culture." Chicago New City

"If performance art has a radical edge, it has to be Frank Moore." Cleveland Edition

"Transformative..." Moore "is thwarting nature in an astonishing manner, and is fusing art, ritual and religion in ways the Eurocentric world has only dim memories of. Espousing a kind of paganism without bite and aggression, Frank Moore is indeed worth watching." High Performance Magazine

"Surely wonderful and mind-goosing experience." L.A. Reader

In Freedom,

Frank Moore

Re. Frank Moore's show

To whom it may concern,

I heard that some of the forthcoming rules and regulations may jeopardize the continuing broadcast of Frank Moore's program on your channel; I'd like to state that his show is the ONLY show I currently watch on your channel, and I hope that you are able to continue airing it.

Thank you,

– jonathan krop

* * * * *
Frank Moore’s programming has not been jeopardized. He will continue to have programming on BCM Channel 28.

Thank you for your concern.


Sincerely,

Arielle Elizabeth
Programming Coordinator
Berkeley Community Media
510-848-2288 ext. 13

* * * * *
(from Jon Krop:)

just letting you know i did write to them!

* * * * *

thanks, Jon, for writing! Her response is extremely interesting, especially in light of her email to us today [see below]. In these situations it's hard to get them to admit they are gunning for you because they want YOU to appear paranoid. And they want to be able to deny. But her email below is the smoking gun. To say the least, she's less than honest with you. True, UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES show, the first run version, will still play three nights a week. But, as she admitted, the new rules were designed to knock off THE BEST OF UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES which runs late night every night to fill empty air. They don't have new local shows to fill the time slots. These rules already knocked off my music show GOING DEEP TO THE CORE AT BURNT RAMEN. As it stands now BEST OF will go off the air in July... If people don't call B-TV at 510-848-2288.

The new rules are legally questionable, to put it mildly. But more on that later! FOLKS, CALL B-TV!

Regarding the Best of FMUP series ....

Hi Arielle,

One of the main reasons we decided not to submit a cable request for Best Of Frank Moore's Unlimited Possibilities for the new season was because of the new rule that states "no series programs with the same host may air more than once per day". Also, because the series would be cut down to 3 shows per week.

Originally, Frank offered to run the Best Of FMUP series because there was no programming through the night on BTV and we know that there are a lot of people who watch TV all night. It was a way to have programming on BTV every night.

We are willing to be bumped for actual shows, but we can fill empty air time.

-- Corey

* * * * *

Corey,

As Programming Coordinator, I personally feel that it is important that all producers should be treated equally. The new policies were written specifically to give all of us (including myself) guidelines on how programming will be scheduled. These policies are designed to promote fairness and equity among the entire membership. Nobody will get special treatment from now on.

I understand and appreciate the fact that you folks have provided BeTV with lots of programming. However, I must treat all producers equally – which means BOFMUP can’t stay on the schedule (as you have deciphered). I hope you understand. We’ll be finding new ways to deal with the empty hours of the evening.

Sincerely,

Arielle Elizabeth
Programming Coordinator
Berkeley Community Media
510-848-2288 ext. 13

Michael LaBash tagged a photo of you on Facebook

Michael tagged a photo of you in the album "LUVeR stuff".

To see the photo, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?photo.php&pid=1426718&op=1&view=all&subj=533426553&id=1165446485&mid=6df3e3G1fcb7179G228e9dfG5

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

Jon Krop wrote on your Wall...

Jon wrote on your Wall:

"i ran across you on berkeley public access and instantly became a fan. keep
flying your freak flag high frank; you are an inspiration!"

To see your Wall or to write on Jon's Wall, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?profile.php&v=feed&id=533426553&story_fbid=90079486553&mid=6e05cbG1fcb7179G228fc18G1

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

* * * * *

we get this kind of response to our b-tv shows all the time! It is amazing
how many people watch b-tv. Judging from when this came in, he was watching
BEST OF UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES which runs late nights.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: Reality Playings April 2009 page is up! (Paul Escriva) IV

Dear Frankie,

Not just A club...public access from what you indicate is indeed becoming a Private Club.

Unbelievably believable.

Will do my best in the next couple of weeks to see if I can hunt down a copy of
"America From Freedom to Fascism:" by Arron Russo.

Heaps of hugs to everyone,
xo Pablo

* * * * *

exactly! The organization has a vested interest in the studio model rather than the community model. They get money from running the studio, training people to use the expensive equipment, etc., rather than providing Berkeley residents easy access to the community channel. I think what freaks them out about me /us [one of the things] is we produce hours of new programs each and every week year in and year out, including a wide range of voices of the community.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

RE:

Hey Frank,

Money talks I guess, and personal interest prevail: it's not new anyways, has allways been since the beginning of time I believe ( at least for the personal interest : from masters to kings and aristocrates to the rich or powerfull govermental nomenklaturas, and I won't talk about blessed representants of God, mafias and sects... ).

Something JFK said that as allways caught my attention is:

We have the means to nourish the entire world, and the power to destroy it ( I can't remember how it exact phrase...).

Which means human consciousness is a double edge sword: we are conscious of suffering as well as for the more beautifull things in life; And being conscious, we have the possibility to act upon what's happening around us ( saving the ill, assisting birth, but also murder, rape and stealing ).

I believe "good" is human and part animal, and "evil" is animal, but part human.

So past these philosopical thoughts, what can we do if it's not to continue to try through generations, every one of them leaving a testimony for the new one to try again and harder, even if we will allways be outnumberd by the wronged intentionned ?

This is why I said that you would never die Frank: you've tried and you're continuing to fight, and many will remember Frank Moore as a kind of warrior who showed them that the will could triomph over adversity.

At least I will, as for your friends , close or far fetched, and I will teach my children and my blood about you :)

Thank you Frank: in the end, knowing you, even if we have a virtual and mind to mind bounding, gives me strenght.

D'idéaliste à idéaliste,

Rafael

* * * * *

ah, shucks, Rafael... That means a lot to me. As Ozzie Davis, the black actor /activist said shortly before he died in his eighties, the trick of this phase of life is don't make a fool of yourself before you exit... Meaning don't take back [undermine] what you did in your life to be comfortable. That is being responsible! But I just found out that my life expectancy is thirty more years! Ain't that a bitch?!

For years I have been saying it was a crime that I can be on the Berkeley public access channel up to six hours a night every night to fill empty air. I would be happy to have my air time slots cut for new local shows. But they don't have new local shows to fill empty air when they force my shows off the air!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

RE: Reality Playings April 2009 page is up! (Rafael-alexandre Ramos)

(from Rafael-alexandre Ramos:)

"American from Freedom to Fascism" by Aarron Russo ; Barack Obama as President ( but the movie is dated from the W. Bush era ( 2005-06)...

How Ironic though... ( but do they really shut you up like you guys are chatting about ? Under Obama's presidency ? Is it a federal thing or a state thing ? ).

You know Frank, I wonder especially if when a new administration comes in, they change the bureaucrates at the same time ( or key players in the apparatus ) in Washington....

Now who said the States aren't the land of contrast, hein ? Là tu parles !

Ouais, faudrait que j'r'garde c'te film là j'imagine

* * * * *

well, it is a more complex thing than that. What I face is at the local /city level going back several years, several well publicized battles with city hall to get my shows off the public access channel in Berkeley. but there is a much bigger battle to shut down public access in general. Los Angeles Weekly had a front page expose on the subject. It is a very dark and twisted tale of how the big corporations [starting with the phone company] searched the states for politicians willing to pass a cookie-cutter bill that effectively will shut public access down. Many of the states did not go for it. But California did [and it was a Democrat who pushed it through]! And Los Angeles was the first to pull the plug.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

photo from Sunday

Hi Frank and friends -- One of the photos that I snapped of you on
Sunday turned out pretty well, so I'm enclosing it here in case you want it. You all were a nice presence at the celebration. Some other photos from Sunday are here: http://bapd.org/park40.html

-- Ken Cheetham

* * * * *

ken, what a beautiful photo! It captured the feeling of the day... As do your other photos.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: Reality Playings April 2009 page is up! (Paul Escriva) III

Dear Frankie,

Oh no...more 'channels' of personal expression.

I did read your email to Annie...humm.

This has yet to happen here...but you know were a little behind on things sometimes.

Did you happen to see the film "American from Freedom to Fascism" by Aarron Russo? I just watched it the other day...if you haven't seen it I think you might want to check it out.

Heaps of hugs to all of ya,

xo Pablo

* * * * *

netflix does not have that movie.

other new rules include to have a series you have to belong to the organization which runs the station FOR THE CITY [FOR US CITIZENS!] which costs $60 a year. So now it is a club! And to get first dibs on the time slots for series, you have to use their studio and their equipment. I never have. In Los Angeles to pull the plug, they just closed the studios. In reality you don't need a studio or expensive equipment to do shows. But the management justifies getting city money by running the studio, training people to use the expensive equipment, etc. so...

Other rules include a "Host " [that would be me!] can't be on two shows on the same day [I don't know why!]. Keep in mind, they are legally prohibited from having any control over the contents of shows. It is hard to see how this doesn't cross the line! And there is more ! I am biding my time!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

May 16 Steve Hamilton Memorial Celebration -- pls circulate

Celebrate the life
of
our dear friend and comrade
Steve Hamilton
Saturday, May 16, 2009
2 – 4:30 p.m.
Finnish Brotherhood Hall
1970 Chestnut Street
At University Avenue
Berkeley

Steve Hamilton died on February 1, 2009, age 64. Steve was a radical political activist who remained committed to core progressive ideals for his entire life. Born into a working class family, Steve initially considered becoming a Christian minister, but soon got caught up in the political ferment that was Berkeley in the 1960s. He joined SLATE, the Free Speech Movement (FSM) the Progressive Labor Party (PLP) and the Revolutionary Union (RU). In 1966 he was dismissed from the University of California for protesting the University’s attempt to take away the gains and protections of the Free Speech Movement. In 1968 he was indicted as one of the Oakland 7 for blocking access to the Oakland Induction Center. By the mid 70’s Steve was a member of BASOC (Bay Area Socialists of California).

In the early 1980s, after a time of personal struggle, Steve rejected the homophobic attitudes of many movement comrades and came out. He became highly regarded in the Bay Area gay community as an HIV/AIDS activist, counselor and therapist. His last job was with MHN, a mental and behavior health network, where he focused on occupational stress issues. In his final year, suffering from congestive heart failure, Steve moved to Louisville KY with his friends Tank and Roman, where he died in his sleep. He leaves behind a sister, Shirley Metcalf and hundreds of close friends and comrades who will always remember his warmth, affection, gentleness, compassion and amazing capacity to talk your ear off.

Contributions in Steve’s memory can be made to The Steve Hamilton Activist Fund for scholarships to send young activists to Wellstone Action! You can go online to www.yippiegirl.com, click on Steve Hamilton, then click the donate button. Or send your check to Steve Hamilton Activist Fund, c/o US Bank, Kaiser Center, 344 20th Street # 117, Oakland CA 94612.

Judy Gumbo

* * * * *

Hi, Judy! We had a "senior moment" here. [age is a Handy excuse for being dumb!] we are performing on may 16 in Oakland. so we can not video the memorial. But please keep me in the loop! We love to cover such events.

It looks like I will have an Oscar Grant panel on a Shaman's Den show. (Oscar Grant is the guy who was killed by BART police). it would involve members of Oscar Grant's family, and Oscar Grant activists ...I feel lucky to be in the position to do such important shows.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Gerald left a message today ...

(Bluehouse wrote:)

Gerald left a message today about wanting to set up an Oscar Grant panel on a Shaman's Den show. (Oscar Grant is the guy who was killed by BART police). He said it would involve members of Oscar Grant's family, and Oscar Grant activists ...

* * * * *

great... Of course! This kind of expose show is in reality why they want to shut down public access in general, and my UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES in particular!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: Reality Playings April 2009 page is up! (Paul Escriva) II

Hi Frankie,

Well it figures.

Sounds like the combine is trying to worm it's way into public access?

Your poem is amazing and it's composition on the page is beautiful!

Pablo

* * * * *

you got that right! See my email to Annie! In the big picture, the phone company, the cable company and politicians are actively doing away with public access, first in California, then the rest of the country. They have been successful in L. A. and in San Francisco. In Berkeley the public access people out of dumbness are making this much easier... As liberals often do!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

FRANK MOORE'S UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES on BTV, Ch. 24 & Ch. 28, May-June 2009

Hi Annie,

We are playing your "Herstory of Porn" on Frank's Show on Berkeley's Public Access Channel. Here is the schedule.

Linda

FRANK MOORE'S UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES on BTV, Ch. 24 & Ch. 28, May-June 2009

402. “Reality Playings” 2/21/09, Temescal Arts Center, Part 2 / Annie Sprinkle's "Herstory Of Porn" / "Bad Thoughts" cartoon (from IHC sampler)
Monday, May 11, 11pm
Thursday, May 14, 11pm
Saturday, May 16, midnight

Hot shit!
Linda Mac

* * * * *

Really? Can you show that on TV!!!? Amazing.Fisting, pissing, stump fucking, etc? Good luck. You are very brave!

xannie

* * * * *

well, Annie, it is art and her/history, hence not obscenity. They have tried that one on me and lost. I have played explicit art from time to time to keep the freedom active. But it is funny you wrote today because they just came out with new rules for having series on the channel, rules obviously aimed to limit my presence on the channel. One of these rules states that no two shows on the same day shall not have the same Host... So that effectively banned THE BEST OF FRANK'S MOORE'S UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES which now runs late night every night. It would make sense if they had shows to fill the time slots. But they don't! But today I pulled the plug on THE BEST OF... Saving myself for the future fights which obviously are coming! My run on public access probably is running out... As the existence of public access probably is also.

hey, we just watched THE BEST OF MIDNIGHT BLUE: THE PORN STARS and there you were! You were great with your power Tools! A fun video! One netflix reviewer said "Annie Sprinkle was funny a la Sarah Silverman." I agree! Al Goldstein did a cameo in THE OUTRAGEOUS BEAUTY REVUE... I interviewed him on stage. He wanted to put some of the acts of OBR on MIDNIGHT BLUE. But I did not like the cameraman Al picked. So I demanded to see the footage before I agreed. This pissed Al off for years!

In Freedom,

Frank Moore

Re: Reality Playings April 2009 page is up! (Paul Escriva)

Hi Frankie,

Can you do me a favor and resend the link?
I'm getting a message that the "page cannot be found".

BTW...how about doing a Frank Moore Telethon on cable access there...or is that against the rules or not your thing?

Thank you,

Pablo

* * * * *

definitely against the rules of public access! And they are looking for a excuse for kicking me off!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: The Simple Things - New on the Shaman's Den Archives

Hi Kaitlin & gang!

We have archived your Shaman's Den show.
See links below.

Linda

New on Frank Moore's Shaman's Den Archives
http://www.luver.com/underground/shamden.html

The Simple Things
http://www.wearethesimplethings.com/

Listen to the performance:
http://www.luver.net/podcasts/simplethings-music.mp3

Listen to the conversation:
http://www.luver.net/podcasts/simplethings-talk.mp3

Photos:
http://www.luver.com/underground/shamden_photos/simplethings/index.html


Hot shit!
Linda Mac

* * * * *

What a joy, Linda!
I had no idea you would have so many amazing pieces of the show - the photos are wonderful - brings me right back to your den. The audio I'll check out when I'm away from my job...

Big hugs to all of you - a truly splendid experience for us.

Love
Kaitlin

* * * * *

hey, that is what we do here at luver! we believe in recycling great shit!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

what a beautiful and impressive book of poetry!

(to Christopher Robin:)

thank you, Betty, for including my poem "No Can Nots" in LETTERHEAD vol. ! It is a mind-blowing book! It is a Honor be in it!

Folks, here is the poem:

NO CAN NOTS

By

FRANK MOORE

Sunday, April 28, 2002

Talking to future healers

& teachers

& maybe future

muckrakers & troublemakers

Well,

Not really future

Because hopefully

You are doing IT

RIGHT NOW!

Hopefully

I’m not talking to the future guards

Of the corporate normalcy

Armed with can nots,

Limiting futures from birth,

Enforcing coloring only within the lines,

Enforcing doing everything

THE RIGHT WAY

THE NORMAL WAY

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Reality Playings April 2009 page is up!

A MIND-EXPANDING BOMB!

http://www.eroplay.com/Cave/reality_playings/reality_playings_arp09/index.html

paypal donation from paul escriva

toward luver computer!
$104!

* * * * *

hey, Paul! Thanks for the donation! It will help! And nonlinearLy it has openned up new channels for getting the computer! SO, FOLKS, MATCH PAUL!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

well, it looks like there won't be any more birthday or x-mas presents or dinners out for us here

at least until we have paid for the $2,000+ computer that luver desperately needs... We are running out of memory to store the expanding luver music library... Running out fast!

If you want to help, send your checks made out to inter-relations to:

Frank Moore
Inter-Relations
P.O. Box 11445
Berkeley, CA 94712

or via Paypal
http://www.eroplay.com/donations.html

hey, I have not sent one of these annoying begging emails for years... So you know it is dire!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

people's park

On Sunday we started Luver’s summer of festivals by having a “cave “[table] at the 40th Anniversary of People's Park. Basically it was nonstop amazing six hours of relating with people! It really was an overwhelming tide of feedback of How what we are doing has a profound effect on so many people. Really it’s now a blur… Not really… But so dense and intense! Reading the poem on the main stage for the large crowd, backed by Shelley Doty and her band, felt like a breather from the human stream! Thank God I have Da Boyz and Jen to write more detailed reports of what went on. So read on!

DA BOYZ:

Soon we were off, stopping at the PH to pick up the boombox and the last two totes, and off we went! We were pulling up to People's Park not too long after 8am. It was just us and the People's Park regulars, watching us set up. We started unloading, and Jen went down to Peet's to get our coffees ... mochas all around! The first thing that happened, almost as soon as we started setting stuff down at the spot, was a big smear of dogshit on our plastic that we had put down to protect the stuff from the wet grass! We discovered landmines of dogshit everywhere! We moved operations over a ways, and covered the poop anytime we found a pocket with plastic and rocks!

Then we got started setting up the booth. Always fun. This was the first time with the backdrops, so it was a learning curve to figure out the best way to do it. Now we know for next time exactly how we'll do it. But in any case, it just looked beautiful with Mikee's colorful erotic flowing backdrop and panels ... created a really neat feeling in the booth ... we called it a cave! Especially when it got so cold!

And then it was noon, and people were already coming to the booth to check it out ... There was the guy who knew Frank and Linda from the Mabuhay days, and who noticed when the fliers went up for performances, and how quickly they got torn down, especially on Shattuck Ave. A guy wearing a 911-truth t-shirt came by and ended up giving LUVeR 2 of his CDs! He, like a lot of other people throughout the day, really seemed to appreciate what LUVeR did in being such an open channel ... People were really enjoying the booth, and really enjoying looking through and selecting the sample CDs that were out for free from bands that play on LUVeR. Every one of the CDs amazing! It was really fun to watch people selecting just the right thing for what they liked ... and often asking us to tell them more about the CDs ...

In comparison to what it was like the rest of the day, it was kind of mellow the first couple hours, but when Frank, Linda and Mikee arrived, it really got going! How can we remember everything that happened! Frank could barely get a sip of water in between talking with the waves and waves of people who came by the booth ... amazing interactions, and possibilities opening up ... It was amazing how many people watch Frank's shows on BTV, and we talked later about how incredible it was to hear, when Frank asked them what they thought, how they really saw what Frank is doing, how he is opening up possibilities, pushing the boundaries, altering reality ... using these very phrases! And a lot of folks remembered the presidential campaign too, which had made a stop at the park the year before. They loved that Frank had run, one guy said he wanted Frank to run again, and said that he would vote for him! Later, the black woman who had read Frank's platform the year before, cover to cover, totally engrossed, not saying a word at the end, but just giving Frank an intense look of approval and appreciation, ... came up to the table, and it was the first time we actually heard her voice, big and loud telling Frank how much she loved what he did, and checking in again now with LUVeR!

Before too long, it was coming up upon Frank's turn at the mic onstage ... Jen and Alexi manned the booth while Corey went down to video Frank. Frank got Shelley and her band to back him up while he read "That Goddamn Weed of Life", just the most perfect poem to capture what People's Park was all about, and it felt like everyone really got it deeply. There were murmurs and shouts of recognition throughout the poem. Shelley tore it up on guitar backing Frank! We found out later that she had asked Frank if he wanted her accompaniment to be "clean" or "dirty"? "Dirty", of course! She knew the answer already!

Wavy Gravy intro'd Frank, was doing most of the MC-ing throughout the day. After the poem ended, Corey heard a guy telling his friends in the crown about seeing a performance, with strobe lights, Frank, nude bodies, etc., on BTV ... pointing out that it was the same guy!

Frank was stopped several times just getting back to the booth by people who loved his poem, shaking his hand ... a poet told him that it was amazing, but no one really applauded. Frank said that was ok, he didn't like applause! There were tons of Shaman's Den interview possibilities that came out of the day, out of Frank just talking with all the folks who came up to the booth. It was so much fun ...

When Frank, Linda, MIkee and Jen went down to Peet's to go to the bathroom and get a coffee, who should walk up but Wavy Gravy, going on and on about the beauty of Mikee's backdrops, wondering who did those??? We told him ... He also needed his fish on the end of a harness repaired. He turned to Alexi! He had his intuition, obviously! Alexi fixed up the fish harness with some gorilla tape, and then who else should walk up but Country Joe MacDonald, and he and Wavy bantered about a movie that Wavy was recommending ... it was hilarious!! And Corey got it all on video! Wavy left what we called his turd instrument, because it seemed to have a turd in place of a bridge for its one string. He later pointed out that it was a real meteorite ... he said, "A turd from outer space."

When he came to get it, Frank hit him up, yet again, to be a guest on the Shaman's Den. He said that Mrs. Gravy did not approve ... she said she didn't think it was a good idea for someone running a children's camp, to be on a show where Frank's weenie was hanging out! Frank and Linda explained to him that on the Shaman's Den interview show it would be Frank and Wavy just talking. Hearing that, he was open to the idea, and said that they should talk about it. It was just the weenie hanging out, or "tits to the wind" that made it a problem! Wow!!

There were so many amazing interactions ... near the end of the day, an artist from Vancouver stopped by the booth, and she and Frank ended up talking deeply about art and the function of art and the artist ... she brought over her black & white, psychedelic, liquid dreamlike comics, a lot like Mikee's art in the way that you could see so much in each page, get lost in her drawings ... Linda said later that you could see from what the comics were talking about, that she was on the same page with Frank ... at one point she cried and looked deeply into Frank's eyes. It was after Linda had given her the flier for the Temescal performance, and also after she had started reading the Magical Act of Doing ... She did a trade with Frank for his Chapped Lap book of poems ... she gave a copy of her comic, signed ... We also got a few of her painting postcards, which are beautiful ... She couldn't set up a Shaman's den with Frank because she was traveling, so Frank did the interview right there.

We were blown away by the day ... Another couple bought Chapped Lap after seeing Frank's poem about Connie. They have a daughter named Connie ... something struck the guy about the line, "a black sheep, raising black sheep" ...

Kay came by, a veteran of jams and performances, and checked in again with Frank ...

There was so much, and it was only slowing down a little at the point when the event was officially over, and we were ready to start breaking things down, and Frank, Linda and Mikee were on their way home ...

While we broke down, people kept coming up to the booth, wanting to know about LUVeR. We were handing out fliers right and left!

JEN:

Found a good place to open the canopy and then we went to work putting it up. Once that was done we put the back drop up. This was new and we had to figure out how to do it. We didn't want it to hit ground. Clips and ropes were rigged up and we eventually got it.

We put up the other panels back to back on the sides. Talked about how we could make it better next time using sturdier clips and some weights so that the bottom stays down. They looked great though. Really vibrant, creating a cozy space that really caught your attention. We started decorating. Table cloths, peace flags and bows were put up. We got all the flyers, buttons and cds out. Alexi put up the t-shirts. Went to the bathroom at one point and when I saw the booth on my way back it looked amazing. Then I went to Bongo Burger and got us all breakfast. Tasty stuff. The boyz had omelets with sausage and I had scrambled eggs with bacon.

We sat and Corey was shooting video. People came up to the booth here and there. We told them about LUVeR, gave them flyers etc. A guy came up who said he knew Frank from the Mabuhay days, and he was glad to see us there. A girl came up and wanted to take one of the cds but didn't know what the music was like so the boyz described it to her and she picked one that sounded good. It was fun. We got the call from you that you were on your way. After a while I could feel that you were near and when I looked around I saw you coming down the sidewalk.

You got cozy in the booth and people started coming up more frequently. Frank worked his magic and asked some of them what they did. It was amazing the people that came up to the booth and said they saw Frank's tv show and what they thought of it. Really incredible how they could see what Frank does. One guy said that it was disturbing in a good way, in the way that made people go outside of the norm and think about things that weren't in the box of what is considered normal. They all loved the show. I can't remember what everyone said, but it was really great to see how many people responded to what Frank is doing. How they could all see the value of Luver, and just everything as being something different than what is out there in the mainstream channels. Doing it for love rather than for money. So many people came up and could see that, responded to that, wanted that. Frank is amazing. What he does is amazing. I have always felt that. It's what sucked me in to you.

Frank went on stage to read his poem about the goddamn weed of life. It silenced the crowd. You could feel how much it touched the spirit of that park and the people that were there today. When you guys came back and talked about how people came up to Frank and told him how much they liked it you could feel how much more important that was than applause. When you got back to the booth it was again a constant flow of people coming up and Frank pulling them in, asking them what they did, getting possible guests for the Shaman's Den, connecting. It was a great fun day.

Re: LUVER HITS THE SUMMER FESTIVALS!

hi
whats up?
I'm in mass .seeing the fam..when are you leaving?? I'll be back in a week and can send some stuff for ya to bring!
thanks so much
miss & love you
take care
steve

* * * * *

hey Steve! The next festival that we will have the luver table at is the Haight ashbury in June. So get your cds to us!

today we here are recovering from yesterday's People's Park anniversary! It was amazing. I at one point read a poem on the main stage backed by Shelley Doty and her band [and Wavey Gravy was the MC]. But at the table, it was nonstop for six hours straight! I couldn't even drink a cup of water! More about this when I have recovered! But the cds we brought quickly went!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

LUVER HITS THE SUMMER FESTIVALS!

LUVER will have a table at quite a few festivals [see http://www.luver.com/events.html for a list of where we will be.] and we would love to give away the great cds of your bands! Send us give away copies, t-shirts, stickers, and other swag! Put on the envelope LUVER SUMMER FESTIVALS big! send to:

Frank Moore
Inter-Relations
P.O. Box 11445
Berkeley, CA 94712

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Fw: past due (Harley) II

(from Harley:)

That’s not all that needs a washing!

* * * * *

mmmmmm... As we say here, more than we want to know!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Fw: past due (Harley)

You never made any mistakes in our book Frank – just the calendar slipped a little. See ya on arttube! Harley

* * * * *

mmmmm... I see that the brainwashing is working!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

There is Trouble in River City and it is spelled P-O-O-L

(from Stavros:)

I am proud of my kids. We shut down the pool at the Anaheim Hyatt. First I dunked Emily. When she came to the surface she coughed up water then vomited on Tiffany's shoulder. it wasn't much but enough to make Andrea gag and vomit twice into the pool. This was followed by a hurried evacuation of tourists from the pool. Management shut down the pool.

Besides puking in the pool we had a great time in Disneyland. Marissa, my autistic granddaughter had a ball, as well as everyone else. I enjoyed blowing my income tax refund on 4 children.

* * * * *

well, I have had disneyland food before. I understand puking! Great time with the kids!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

* * * * *

When everyone ran out of the pool it was reminiscent of our performance in Phoenix when they couldn’t get to the exit door fast enough.

* * * * *

ah, power! I have cleared out entire cities... Toronto comes to mind!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: Fw: past due

Frank

A noncommercial uncensored video site for artists? I wonder if you could get your videos hosted on UbuWeb. They have all kinds of subversive experimental film and performance art. The site says they are not accepting submissions, but you're already well known, so they might be
interested.

Fred

* * * * *

thanks, Fred. Yes, I have spent quite a few hours stuck in exploring the classic extreme performances! Amazing! And I have contacted them about having some of my videos of my performances there. No reply. But I just tried again.

Actually I am included in their 365 audio project.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

saturday's performance!

Ah, last night’s performance went to the core of the work. Starting from very little to work with… Except the beautiful space and set… And blooming into a rich expanding piece of music, dance, and liquid medium erotic reality of not being sure of anything. Starting with the sour face woman in the shadows on the bleachers. Why did she come to something which was advertised as

“REALITY PLAYINGS: experiments in experience/participation performance…Frank Moore, world-known shaman performance artist, will conduct improvised passions of musicians, actors, dancers, and audience members in a laboratory setting to create altered realities of fusion beyond taboos. Bring your passions and musical instruments and your senses of adventure and humor. Other than that,
ADMISSION IS FREE! (But donations will be accepted.]?

Such performances are designed to expose, expand, trespass boundaries… Not to define and stay within them! Ah, age-old questions! And no particular answers!

So starting with the sour face and the two dudes who weren’t giving much more, I just followed the bread crumbs into the void! I had the one guy chose something in my thick book of my writings to read. He picked one of the longest, most dense pieces, The Magical Cave Lovers.* And he read it intensely, melting into it as time expanded. During the reading, I had the Asian guy undress Linda and Jen and put their beads on them [I wouldn’t get shit from Betty, our eighty year old church going neighbor this time for not having nude bodies for her beads! The ritual had started! After the reading, I asked the reader to be my keyboard player for the night. He agreed! At that point Charles, the guy who did the dance with me last time, entered, carrying a horn case. I acted like he was a cast member … I gave him shit for being late, missing the woman freaking out. Playing along, Charles said that usually happened later in the performance. He unpacked his horn… some weird saxophone, whatever, and sat beside me and jammed with my vocals. He switched back and forth between his horn and singing with me… Linda and Jen danced nude, slides projected upon their bodies. The keyboardist turned out to be hot! At some point Tomek showed up with his accordion and joined in! He switched to the roto-toms, which he fell in love with. At some point I got rid of my board to join Linda and Jen dancing, still singing with Charles until he had to leave. After the jam /dance everything had transformed. The two guys actually started talking about how the performance affected them. The keyboardist felt vulnerable in a good, new way. I showed them the warning sign that I had over the doorway of every performance for years.

WARNING!

ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

THIS PIECE MAY BE THREATENING TO YOUR EVERYDAY REALITY.

THIS PIECE MAY CAUSE QUESTIONING OF THE COMMON MORALITY.

THESE SYMPTOMS MAY APPEAR DAYS AFTER THE PIECE

WITHOUT WARNING…EVEN IF DURING THE PIECE,

YOU MAY FEEL AS IF NOTHING IS HAPPENING…

OR YOU MAY EVEN ENJOY IT. BUT ABOVE SYMPTOMS

MAY STILL APPEAR, LEADING TO RESTLESSNESS,

AND EVEN TO RADICAL CHANGE.

ENTER

The above is the version of the sign that we have on the website.

We shifted back to the sour face woman. Corey said he started to think she might be a plant. This started us talking about my history of using plants in performances… And of people appearing to be plants when I hadn’t planted them. Then I read the piece, The Rehearsal,** which I wrote for the open audition part of the night. As we read it, it became uncanny how Sour Face captured at least the beginning of the role I was auditioning for! Was she a plant? Who else was a plant? What is the nature of performance? What is the nature of reality? Pretty good night’s work! And they didn’t want to go!

Tomek was on his way to a music festival in Czechoslovakia. He is planning to incorporate some of my guerrilla style of performance… Such as engaging people in conversation. So the work spreads!

JEN:

Was really excited about the performance. Not knowing what's going to happen is fun! DA BOYZ had put a lunch plate together for me so I ate that and got changed and then came down to the ph. We got Frank in the car and were on our way. Had a thought that maybe Erika would show up but then I didn't think so. She must have been thinking about it because we all had the same feeling.

We got to the space and set up which is always fun, putting up lights and banners, setting up the sound and the swag table. Pretty soon a girl showed up and was hanging around by the door. Frank told her to come on in. When we got started she sat down on the mats in front of Frank and he asked her how she found out about this. She told him she saw a flyer. He asked what attracted her to it. She said she's into performance art like dancing, singing, theater etc. She was starting to look suspicious and uncomfortable. She asked if she was the only audience there and if this was a performance or an open audition. Frank said that if she came for the performance, then it's a performance. When Frank asked her what she did she really got uncomfortable and started asking about the video camera. Frank said she could leave anytime, but she stayed. She asked about audience participation and when Frank asked her what she felt about that, she said she thought there should be clear boundaries about that. Then another man walked in and sat down. She asked him if he was a part of this and he said no. Then Frank said now he is! When Frank started asking him how he heard about this, the girl took the opportunity to run out the door. The performance got off to a very intense start with her!

The guy said he saw a flyer and was involved a long time ago with someone who was associated with eroplay. He said he wanted to see if this was still going on, and if he was still here too. He gave some cryptic answers to Frank's questions. When Frank asked what he expected, he said why expect anything when this is what he's experiencing right now. Frank said exactly. Frank had him come up and read anything he wanted out of Frank's binder of writings. He chose to read a long story about the magic life of the cave mother. It deepened everything right away, bringing all into a trance.

Another man came in who had found out about this from a flyer as well. Neat to hear how well the flyers work! It seems to be the most effective marketing, getting people directly at street level. He had seen something in People's Park long ago that was like this. Suddenly Charles showed up who had danced with Frank in the last performance. He brought his instrument! He sat down and started putting it together, some kind of tenor sax, while Frank talked to him about missing the girl who freaked out, saying that's why it's important to be here on time. He said he was moving today and had a few things to do before coming, but he couldn't believe someone had already freaked! He said usually that happens later!

Frank asked Charles to jam with him as the second man who came in undressed Linda and me, and put our costumes on. This time we wore Betty's Hawaiian jewelry. The guy was creative, taking our tops off down our bodies, untying all the little ties on my shirt, tying the boas around our waists. It was really cute. Then we danced together as Charles and Frank jammed on. The first guy who had come played keyboards, and the other guy and a woman who had come in were told they could play whatever they wanted. Linda and I moved together, caressing and vocalizing and writhing. Sometimes it tickled! Felt soft and flowing, going with the music, going with each other, 4 arms and legs, bodies moving in harmony. We could hear the door opening and closing. At one point I looked and saw Tomek had come!

Then Linda and I danced with Frank, merging, melting. The music was building and the feeling was deep and intense, everything pumping and flowing out out out. Very expansive. And our skin melting in, soft, small, intimate, going in deeper and deeper. Pushing through any resistance, ploughing on, soft strength. The rhythm of life, relentless, eternal. We were entranced and it was as if the story of the cave mother was coming to life.

After the dance we all talked about what we experienced. The man who undressed us said that it was great Frank getting a lap dance from two lovely ladies. Frank said mmmm, that was the easy part. Tomek loved the roto-toms and said he found a new way of expression with them. Said he must get a set. Linda said it was as if we had been pushing and pushing all night, pushing through whatever, like the girl who first came in. Pushing through boundaries, and how everything opened up as we pushed on. The boyz said it was really intense from the get go and really trance inducing. Mikee said that too, and that the music was great, and he shot a whole roll of film! The first guy who arrived answered Frank's question "was it satisfying?" with a no, but later he said that he had felt centered and balanced when he got here and as the performance continued he started to feel unsettled. Now he felt like his world was kind of scattered. Frank told him about the warning sign that he used to hang on the door of performances telling people that this is an effect of the performance, their reality will be shifted and it could take a while for this to happen.

Then Frank had Linda read what he wrote last night for the audition. The main body of the audition piece was something he had written for Erika years ago. It started with someone rolled in a tight ball and then slowly expanding into the space, eventually incorporating Frank into their space and then finally shedding their clothes and dancing with Frank. But the first part really blew us all away, because it had the person pulling out of character and exposing Frank as the director, asking him suspicious questions about what he was doing. They were to set their boundaries for what they would and wouldn't do in this audition piece. It was just like the first girl who was here! She was playing the part exactly the way Frank wrote it. Was she a plant?

It was a great night! Frank said maybe one of the best performances he's done! Something so intense and powerful came out of seemingly nothing. We didn't even know if anyone would show up. We had no idea who would play music or what would happen. The girl at the beginning started the night off with heavy resistance, but we pushed on and everything opened like having Charles and then Tomek show up. The band was amazing! The dance opened up everything, echoing the story that was read, bringing everything in. We were blown away.

DA BOYZ:

It was really fun to be doing these monthly performances! The caravan to the space, and setting up, everything was fun. What a great space! And then the performance was starting ... a girl was already there, hanging back in the shadows ...

Frank asked her to come on in and sit down, closer, and the performance had begun! She looked very disturbed by what was going on ... she was very closed off, very tight. The look on her face was like something very wrong was going on here ... Frank started asking her about herself ... how did she hear about the performance? She had seen a flier ... And what attracted her to it? She said that she was into performance art ... What kind? She said something like that she was into singing and dancing ... And then she asked him why he was asking her questions? Was this a performance, an audition? Frank said it was both actually, but if she was there for the performance, then it was the performance. She asked if it was being videotaped ...? Linda said yes ... She said something about being uncomfortable with that, and Frank told her that she could leave anytime she wanted to. But she didn't leave. Frank also told her that this was an audience participation performance, that talking to her was part of it ... She looked very suspicious of what was going on, mistrustful ... it was very very intense! She had asked if she was the only audience person there?? Frank said yes, so far! Then an older guy walked in and sat down ... The girl turned to him and asked him if he was part of "this project"? Frank said, "He is now!" It was an amazingly intense interaction with her ... it was almost like it was scripted, almost like she was a plant ...

But when Frank started talking to the guy, she got up, grabbed her stuff and walked right out!

But Frank ploughed and pushed on! After talking to the new guy for a little bit, Frank asked him to come up and read one of Frank's poems ... he would pick it himself ... he happened to pick the Magical Cave Lovers poem, which just deepened everything ... another guy came in at that point and sat down ... and listened to the long poem that just carried you into another reality, another time, place, dimension ...

When we all came out the other side, Charles soon arrived, and started setting up his bass clarinet, and Frank did a little market research, finding out where both the first two guys had seen the fliers? The Asian guy had seen the fliers we put up at Ashby and San Pablo, a new spot we had tried! Very cool! The other guy who read the poem had seen them at the Ashby BART, which was a routine stop on our postering run. It was great to hear. Corey said later that he had a feeling that just by picking a few new spots to flier, it would attract people ... new eyes! Both of the two new guys had heard of Frank for years ...

After telling Charles about the freak out he had missed (Charles saying, "Already! That usually happens later!"), Frank had Charles join him in a jam, and the writer would play keyboards, and the Asian guy would undress Linda and Jen and put their "costumes" on ... Betty would get to see her new jewelry! Charles sat next to Frank, jamming with his bass clarinet and voice ... the music was amazing, beautiful, deep ... it felt like each new thing that happened drew the feeling deeper, and you fell deeper into a trance ... People kept coming into the space, and leaving again ... and then Tomek arrived, got his accordion set up, and joined the music, which was incredible, just kept transforming, evolving ... Linda and Jen dancing together in the strobes and slides was so beautiful, made everything much smaller, and expansive at the same time, connected a lot ... and then when Frank, Linda and Jen all danced together, it went ever deeper, smaller, erotic, aroused and you felt everything connected with the poem of the magical cave lovers ... everything carried the trance deeper and deeper ... transforming everything ...

And then we were talking about it ... Charles had needed to leave near the end ... Mikee said that he was singing out the door that he "had to go, had to be somewhere ...!" The two other guys did not have a lot to say, but you could feel that the older man who had played the keyboards was very affected by it, but maybe did not have the words ... he stayed almost until the end of our time there, helping us break down the set, etc., had popcorn ... It was neat to talk about it, and we talked a lot about the girl at the beginning, how amazing her freak out was, how intense ... Corey said that he had thought perhaps she was a plant ... And then Frank read the piece he had written for those who would come for the audition ... And she literally had played the first segment of his piece to the hilt! Linda said she overplayed it! It was amazing that by continuing to push through, not stopping, as Linda said, it felt almost like the persistence brought in the other people, one by one, to deepen everything ... These monthly performances are so much fun! Frank said at one point, "This is working!"

We broke everything down, cleaned up, devoured popcorn, kept talking about the performance ... Everything was very smooth ...

Soon the LUVeRmobile was heading back home ... we finished up the close down of the space, and were soon driving home too, talking about how amazing the performance was, how hungry we were! ... how it was neat to hear where people had seen the fliers and decided to come ...

Soon we were back here, unloading, talking about how there was no Erika ! We had all thought about the possibility at some point ... and why not? Why wouldn't she be thinking about coming, if she was wanting to make amends, come back, etc.?? Maybe she sent the mistrustful girl!

* THE MAGICAL CAVE LOVERS

by

FRANK MOORE

copyright March 20, 1995

the cave is our world, his and mine. together around the fire in the warm cave. it has always been this way. mother and grandmother...mothers and grandmothers have always been in the cave above the tribe, have always been talking to the world spirits for the tribe, have always been taking the tribe out of the world of survival, cold wet fear...into our body cave of warm laughing joy, taking them into us deep for awhile.

and there has always been one of his kind in the cave. mother said that before i was born, the one who she lived in the cave with died. his death cursed the tribal field, cursed the tribal planting. the tribe again survived only by the hunt and the gathering. the spirit of the field would only come back when mother could mate in the tribal field with a healer after hair grew on his body. until that time, during times of moon blood, mother led the tribal women in the chant of plant magic, keeping their knowing of the secrets of growing alive during the years of waiting.

as the world spirits desired it, for many years no deformed male baby who could be a healer lived for more than for a few days within the tribe...even when mother secretly took such babies from the sacrifice rock and brought them to the cave, where she and the old healer tried to bring them fully into life.

so after the death of the healer, mother had to make the secret and dangerous journey to the sacrifice rocks of other tribes in her quest for a deformed boy baby, for a spirit that didn't dwell in the world of survival, for a magical son who could be a healing bridge between all realities. mother had to hide behind the sacrifice rock of each tribe for many nights, waiting for a father to put a deformed boy child on the rock to die.

one day the tribe discovered that mother was not in the cave. they went into a ritual dance and a fast, piling all the food outside the cave to bring her back. they had a feast when they discovered that she had returned with a new healer. she had found a deformed boy baby. she saved him from the sacrifice rock and carried him to the cave. there she gave birth to him. everyone knows that cave magicians can give birth to even full-grown men. so no one was at all surprised to see this baby in the cave.

mother took care of him, raised him in the cave. she grew to understand his sounds, his moving body, his spirit talk. i understand him now. as he grew up, his healing magic became physical touch. he was in the future and the past and the world spirit...linked with mother's body. now linked with my body.

when hair grew on his body, mother took him as her magical mate. then the secrets of growing, the magic of the plants, again came out of the moon cave and into the field. once again, the spirit entered the field and was attended to by the women of the tribe.

once again, before every harvest and every planting, the tribe carried mother and her magical mate to the fields. there she would take him deep inside her. they became one body together in ritual pleasure, offering the pleasure to the earth spirit as a thanksgiving. these were the only times he left the cave. these were the only times that she took him deep into her, although they were always together in the sacred play when they were in the cave, rubbing, licking, laughing, moaning, crying within the awareness of life. he and i are still in that awareness cave.

mother got big and i came out of her into the cave. if i was a male baby, mother would have gone like a spirit with the baby out of the cave to where the woman of the chief slept. she would have put the baby beside the woman and then slipped away. the boy would be born to the woman of the chief. the magic of the cave mother can only be passed on to a daughter of the cave. if i did not come from mother's body, she would have gone on a quest for a cave daughter, leaving the healer alone in the cave. the tribeswomen would take care of him as best as they could. but if mother would die on the quest, the healer would die. then the tribe would die.

i grew up cuddled up between their bodies, playing with their bodies, smelling the herbs mother hung to dry in the cave, smelling the teas and other medicines mother made from them to give those who came to the cave to be healed. i ate the food and drank the water and the milk that the tribe brought to the mouth of the cave everyday.

i always played with mother and the healer...to me, he is laughing face because his hairy face always has tickled me...when they played together. but she put me into the child hole to play whenever she and he did rituals with a tribesperson. grandmothers from long ago dug these child holes. there is one just outside the cave for when mother danced with the chief before every hunt, before every battle, arousing his power.

i now arouse him.

there is a child hole at mother's secret place where she goes when the tribe faces death from nature offended...the secret place where she offers herself to earth spirits as a sacrifice by working herself up by dancing and rubbing until who she is burns away. and there is a giant children hole in the middle of the moon cave where all the tribeswomen with children without body hair go during the times of blood. i watched the rituals from the child hole. when i could get out of the child hole, i could take part in the rituals...even before body hair and times of moon blood.

mother started teaching me cave mother magic and how to combine and blend it with the magic of laughing face. laughing face has always been my brother, my playmate. i grew up understanding his sounds, understanding his body, hearing his thoughts, seeing through his psychic eyes. he is my body. since i had body hair, he has been my mate.

mother started teaching me cave mother magic. cave mother magic is body magic. the body of the cave mother is the body of the earth. after i could get out of the children hole in the moon cave, mother started teaching me cave mother magic. mother said a long time ago the women of the tribe did not bleed together as one body in the full bright moon time. each woman bled alone at her own time away from the tribal fire, bled alone in dangerous cold darkness. one day, the moon, full and bright, told cave mother that the women will only have their time of blood in the nights and days of bright moon. the moon told cave mother that on the night before the full bright moon, all the women with all the children before body hair should leave the tribal fire, carrying a flaming branch, and dwell together in the special cave until the last moon blood fell. the times of moon blood are the most magical.

during times of moon blood, the elder men with the chief stay with the healer in the healing cave, taking care of him until the cave mother returns. they feed him, give him drink, bathe him. but they themselves fast and chant and rock and gently touch him. they can not understand him, can not see through his eyes. but as they sit around him, his spirit fills them and they are filled with visions.

mother began my magical training by taking me with her when she left the moon cave during the waiting day and the day of restoring. on these journeys she would collect herbs, special stones, healing mud, and all the other magical objects that she would prepare and use with the healer in their cave, our cave. she told me the story and the power behind each object. she told me the secret magical stories hidden within the stories that the women shared within the moon cave, rubbing one another, rocking together, enjoying their single body.

after the times of blood, when we returned to the healing cave, mother started letting me help her prepare the healing objects. mother said the objects by themselves do not have healing powers. but the body magic calls forth the healing effect of the object just as mother and the healer call forth the healing magic within each other. after someone left the cave after a ritual, mother started explaining to me what had happened. most of this explaining was not done in words, but by mother and laughing face playing with me, turning my body and spirit on.

laughing face would melt into the person's body as they played, seeing what was needed. sometimes by touching deeply, he could transmute the inner sickness. other times, when he felt death was approaching, he and mother would arouse the body spirit to melt with death. but most of the time, as the healer was physically melted with the person, mother saw with the healer's eyes, felt with his body. then the healer would lay back, and mother would begin her body dance, rubbing wet warm, sucking the other into her, licking coolness, blowing life into the other, dancing hard and long deep into the woman cave. the other could be the ill person. often it was the healer. just before she left, mother started to pick me to be the other dancer. the dance would fade into sleep. then just before dawn, mother would wake the person up, give him herbs or a magical object, give him rituals, then would send him back into the tribe in survival.

i absorbed all of this. i saw boys come to the healing cave when they first had hair on their bodies. the boy with first body hair would be barred from entering the moon cave on the first time of blood after body hair first appeared. the cave mother would ritualistically force his mother to not bring him into the moon cave again because he would never be again her son. the cave mother would send him to the healing cave. there, the chief would bar him from the cave, telling him to sit on the rock outside the cave, to wait for cave mother, to wait, not moving, without food, without water, without sleep.

days later, the cave mother would return to the healing cave, without giving any notice to the sitting would-be man. she would enter the cave and would lie beside the healer. the elders would slowly dance from the cave to the sitting would-be man, lift him up, carrying him into the cave mother, lying him on her, belly on belly. then the elders would leave to dance outside of the cave.

mother would gently let the boy enter her body, guiding him to melt with her in body and spirit, pulling him into the deep trance of transforming pleasure. then, when the boy had died to his child soul, the elders of the tribe would enter the cave, lift the entranced would-be man onto their shoulders, and carry him out of the cave and on into his quest for a vision, for a new soul, and for a proof of his worthiness to be within the tribe.

when a girl first entered the moon cave on her first time of blood, the women gathered around her and rocked her gently day and night until the moon blood stopped flowing between her legs. then they washed her childhood away, washed her into womanhood, washed her first in their moon blood, then washed her in clear cold water, welcoming her into their collective body.

then the cave mother took the new woman outside of the cave, laying her down on a bed of leaves. mother would reach deep inside the new woman, gently breaking the seal of skin, if it had not been broken in child play. the mother started calling forth from inside the new woman, started calling forth wave upon wave of intense moaning burning pleasure moving within the new woman's body, joyfully burning up the little girl's insides, the body of the young new woman writhing, opening wide to let the whole universe in. when the little girl had been completely burnt up, the tribal women took the new woman into their circle to rock with her.

as my mother did before, i live with laughing face in our cave of love and play, far outside the reality of cold survival of the tribe. most of the time, people of the tribe come to our cave not to be healed of some sickness, nor to know the future, nor to appease the spirits, nor anything that you in your time might think would be magically important. most of the time, they come to be rocked by me and the healer, to be sung to by us, to play with us, to come into our personal love of warm playing skin. the possibility of this personal love has not truly entered their reality of survival...except in their memories of what they have experienced within our cave...slowly this pleasure playing of personal love has leaked out of the cave over the lifetimes of the many cave mothers from the time when the first young girl found the first healer and hid with him in a cave, sneaking out to steal a blazing branch from the group fire of the human pack, sneaking out at night to gather berries and fruit...sneaking out so that the pack wouldn't kill the useless deformed boy...sneaking out until she became an earth spirit to the pack when they caught sight of flashes of her. the young cave couple lived a new kind of existence together. in the pack there has always been the physical love of a mother for her babies, and children of the pack always have played together. but when the children entered the adult pack reality of cold survival which was dominated by fear, by individual isolation, and by being together solely out of physical need, this love and this child play quickly faded into the ultimate black beyond the light of the night fire of the pack.

but in the first cave couple, the personal love that was the mother-child physical love within the pack transmuted into the personal love between people that hadn't been linked by the birth cord. this new kind of love was what melted the bodies of the first cave couple together. their playing together as children in adult bodies called forth this new kind of love. slowly their play revealed totally new physical pleasures which humans had never experienced before. in the pack, there was an ever-present lurking of a violent urge erupting in some male, grabbing a female from behind just to let her go a minute later after the pressure of the urge had been relieved, the woman going off to soothe her wounds.

but within their cave playing, the first cave mother and the first healer began discovering the many paths of pleasure within their body of two...long giggling tickling belly warm chest moaning exploding white light turning colors sleeping warm skin. on these paths of pleasure, the moon came to them and taught them magic. the moon told many strange things...that men were not just protectors and providers...that men have a direct and active role in the creation of life...that everyone in the pack is physically connected to one another as a body. becoming aware of these things would transform the pack into a tribe, calling forth tribal love, extending into the land and animals. this awareness would come slowly as the tribes people visited the cave, visited the personal love of the cave mother and the healer, experience within their own bodies the new physical pleasure. they would take tiny bits of the expanding cave reality back to their relationships within the tribe. the moon said every pack had a cave couple developing, hidden, playing.

i am seeing into your time through laughing face's eyes. i'm seeing past the marble temples where cave mothers became sex goddesses...past the men of power dividing the cave mother from the wounded healer, chaining her to promote isolation by turning her into just a safety valve for the release of guilt of power and the frustration of unattainable desire.

but laughing face and i are still in our hidden cave waiting for you to come and play with us.

** THE REHEARSAL

the idea i have could be called the rehearsal. you would play an uptight actress who for some reason agreed to be in a piece that is over her head, beyond her limits. this is the first rehearsal. the piece starts with her doing the PIECE with my character...so the audience thinks we are just doing a piece. but then she pulls out of her character, hitting a block. she starts questioning my motives as the director [revealing i'm the director]..."oh, this is just a trick for you to get fucked!"'..."i can portray INTIMACY without taking my clothes off!" but she psychically knows what i'm saying. so you will do both of our parts of our dialog. at some point she goes back into the ritual...until she reaches another block, then the dialog continues...but it gets deeper, more expansive, more personal each time.

that is the structure of the piece. and below is the physical backbone ritual.

A DANCE RITUAL

Frank Moore

1/26/03

Lower the lights.

Squat in the center of the room, holding yourself very tightly, rocking, fully dressed, maintaining boundaries, making whatever sounds, all tight, all “self-contained.”

When you are ready…it doesn’t matter how long this takes…let yourself expand into the room, while still squatting and rocking. Relax.

Let yourself expand into me when you are ready…it doesn’t matter how long this takes…and take me into you when you are ready…it doesn’t matter how long this takes…all the while squatting and rocking.

When you are ready, move around the room, making deep sounds within a relaxed freedom. Slowly remove your clothes… when you are ready…it doesn’t matter how long this takes. Let yourself expand outside of the studio, taking everything into you.

When you are ready…it doesn’t matter how long this takes…dance with me, drawing everything in the room into the rapture state of our combine being, making deep sounds within a relaxed freedom.

When you are ready…it doesn’t matter how long this takes…sit on me and rock/rub our combined being into a rapture state, making deep sounds within a relaxed freedom. Remain in this state.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore