Showing posts with label Frank in the hospital and back home again. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frank in the hospital and back home again. Show all posts

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Re: on xmas...

(Frank wrote:)

We have an extra copy of the Billy Bob Thornton movie, "Badder Santa". Would you like to have it?

* * * * *

HI Frank,

We don't need it but thanks for the offer! I enjoyed that movie more than I thought I would.

I hope you had a good Christmas. I survived mine, not my favorite holiday by any stretch. I still get bitter that being a Jew I have to do anything on Christmas but we can get into that rant later.

First my thoughts on the show, and I am still thinking about it. One of the things I thought about the most and afterward was the notion of uncomfortable. I found it interesting that nudity is one of the main things you use to get people uncomfortable, why do you think that is? While other people's nudity does not make me uncomfortable I know that I would not have been willing to get naked so obviously I have some major level of uncomfortableness with it. I would also love to see a show where people get just as uncomfortable without taking off their clothes. I would have liked to hear more from all the people there, it was very interesting to me why they came and how they were feeling. I loved the reading of the poem, to me that was the perfect example of someone feeling uncomfortable with what was happening around her but participating and getting really into it. Her reading was awesome. What made me most uncomfortable of all was that I would be asked to do something I didn't want to do, and that it wouldn't be ok if I didn't want to do it. I have generally avoided group participation activities for that reason, and in a larger sense have always felt like an outsider in this country for that reason. I don't stand for the national anthem because this is not the land of the free, and it should be my right not to, but that somehow makes me unpatriotic. But I realized at that show that I trust you, and even more that I am ok with myself so I did feel that uncomfortableness go away and I had a lot of fun. The reason I came was to see you perform. I would say that 90% of the people I work with don't get better, and in fact most get worse. It is really emotionally taxing to spend that much time with a group of people who know that they can no longer do the things they love and who are so sad. The opportunity to see someone who I met when he was recovering from some major medical catastrophes and came to care about back up on stage doing something he loves was the most fun for me. I also think that in a lot of ways doing therapy with you was a zone of uncomfortable fun. I struggle with the profession of swallowing for many many reasons. Here was this guy who if I listened to the textbooks, and to other colleagues, and to lawsuit happy America I would have believed shouldn't be eating. But I have always believed in quality of life and not giving into fear, and as I got to know you and be more comfortable with all of you it became really fun to challenge the naysayers and watch you eating. It was also fun to let go of my worries. You were also my first home trach, I have always worked with a team of nurses and respiratory therapists who are helping me monitor things. But I tell you, Linda and Mikee were the best team I could have asked for.

Please add me the e-salon email list! And I am glad I have become family. I hope things are going well, I will discuss movies in the next email.

Love Miriam

* * * * *

welcome to the e-salon, Miriam!

Hey, Bad Santa is a Jew, or at least his girlfriend is.
the nudity and eroticism are quick Tools [at least in this uptight country] to get under /beyond the casual, social, the normal, and other margins which keep people away from freedom so that we will start exploring, playing together tribally. And it works. People come to the "audience participation experiential performance " with that context clearly displayed. So they came for that, even if they don't know exactly what that means or includes. Not knowing exactly is the spice of life. Trust is the key to unlocking the "zones of comfort" [which really are prisons of fragility]. Really the trust I am speaking of doesn't have a subject. You trust me because you trust yourself because you trust life. That trust is a rugged comfort.

I am getting together with Maggie [who read my poem] Wednesday!

Well, if I didn't have you and Kerbavaz who are willing to go against the prevailing expectations, it would have been much harder for me to beat the curse of their expectations, judgments, projections. This curse is most certainly why I ended up in the ICU in the first place! [they couldn't ask me if I was breathing ok!] Of course I would be dead without my tribal body of Linda, Mikee, Corey, Alexi and Erika. And there are the hundreds of people who kicked my ass not to die and gave us what we needed to survive. Of course all of that came from a lifetime of living outside of the prevailing expectations, building tribal relationships, exploring erotically!

Hey, if they were so wrong about me, wonder how many of your other patients they are wrong about!

NO CAN NOTS

By

FRANK MOORE

Sunday, April 28, 2002


Talking to future healers

& teachers

& maybe future

muckrakers & troublemakers

Well,

Not really future

Because hopefully

You are doing IT

RIGHT NOW!

Hopefully

I’m not talking to the future guards

Of the corporate normalcy

Armed with can nots,

Limiting futures from birth,

Enforcing coloring only within the lines,

Enforcing doing everything

THE RIGHT WAY

THE NORMAL WAY


In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Friday, December 3, 2010

RE: update (Francine)

HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY HEROES TOO. HE IS A VERY GREAT DOCTOR.

Francine Manuel, RPT

* * * * *

well, Francine, you were the one who got me into his office many years ago!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

RE: update (Suzy)

Good for Dr. Good! What a great success story.

Max is home again, recovering very nicely and sends his love. Have a great performance! We will also be going “on with the show” this Saturday at the Speakeasy. Speaking of which, hope to see you guys sometime soon here at our beautiful new space.

Peace through pleasure

Suzy

Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

The Dr. Susan Block Show

* * * * *

great about Max!
I don't know when we will be up for any traveling.

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

RE: update (Rafael)

Glad to hear you've got a good and Humane doctor ( man, I'm starting to read "confessions of an economic hitman from Perkins and it just kind of pushes you back to activism a bit :)

Frank, as i'm allways consulting you before such great directing decision, and as I was slicing your election speech, I cristalized in my mind the way I wan't the voice collage to come out :

Now, I wan't to create phrases out of sliced words like "I", "am", "not", "political", "education", "you", "or", "military", etc...

Somewhat of an Aiku :)

Therefor, this collage would be the representation of a "force", rather than a political campaign per say.

Ex: We will shut down nuclear generators, stop arms race, prejudice, etc...

I'll be using the "We" instead of "I", in order to represent that "force", that "community".

The end of the track will contain "Frank for President" : just thought that we are in 2010 NOW and that what you fought for DO NOT BELONG TO A MUSEUM ! ;)

It is, of course, impressionist as you allready know that I'm this kind of composer ;

I lately though of remastering the track ( when finished ! ) in the future and ad some some brainwaves editing ;

Stay as well until next time :)

Rafael

* * * * *

funny... Years back the ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO hired me to do a lecture and some other stuff. We didn't know anything about the place. But it was all expenses paid kind of gig [a rarity!]... So... They put us in a fancy hotel. So the day before the lecture we walked to the lecture hall to check it out. It was in a bigtime museum! And all through the museum were my writings [to promote the lecture]. The piece they chose to xerox was where I described museums as graveyards for dead art! I LOVED THE IRONY!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Thursday, December 2, 2010

i am not up for the kpfa show tonight

i am doing well but going out at midnight in the rain and cold the day after my peg removal for a three-hour show is just too much.
In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Eda)

what a story! what a GREAT story! Good for you (haha)! i'm really so glad. wish i could have a doctor Good in NY.

it's gotten cold here, but lovely. we still picked a few raspberries in our backyard. after alan and our upstairs neighbor/tenant buried her cat there today (poor kitty had feline leukemia and deteriorated suddenly and quickly while she was away 4 wks taking care of her mom in Minneapolis, where btw, it got to 11 degrees.)

so, time for me to get ready for bed so i can get warm from Alan's fur.

again, so glad. lots of love, eda

* * * * *

and ain't that what living is all about? Creating great stories to re- tell!
In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Michael Diehl)

Hi Frank and Linda

Well it is hard to keep a good man like you down for long. I have been struggling with some of my own physical and mental disabilities but part of what gets me through the dark tis the season to be jolly is hearing you on Crack of Dawn singing Christmas songs. Here's to your long life. You are an inspiration of how to beat the odds by being even odder!

Ho ho ho,
Michael Diehl

* * * * *

well, Michael, this places a great sacred responsibility over my head! But I will do my duty tonight! Keep in mind I just had my trach out, so my voice is untested! The odds are more odd!


In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Paul)

Hot damn!

Paul

Re: update (Steve and Marjorie)

that's the kind of second opinion we like...have fun at the performance! Steve and Marjorie

* * * * *

you can say that again, Steve!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Betsy)

Frank that is wonderful!!! I work with lots of kids with pegs, but unfortunately they typically have to have it because they cannot swallow nor chew to be safe. SO, good for you, glad everything worked out, I applaud you for speaking up and asking questions. Sounds like you had a great visit with our buddy Steve. I keep track of him through you! I miss him, we sure had some good times. Have a wonderful holiday season with all your family,

Love,
Betsy

* * * * *

hey, Betsy! I learned a long long time ago they often don't know what the fuck they are talking about and they can put a fatal curse on you if you fall for it! I never have!

Yep, our tribe is still intact after forty years or more! Great visit with Steve and his mate!


In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Claudette)

(Claudette wrote:)

How brilliant!! Sounds so easy after all the anxiety caused by THE IDIOT. Wonderful news for you all.

* * * * *

exactly, Claudette!


In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (R.K.)

Perfect solution!!
rk

* * * * *

exactly!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Sandy)

(Sandy wrote:)

Interesting, isn't it, that the "specialist" couldn't (or wouldn't) do it, but Dr. Good did...HOORAY FOR DR. GOOD!!!!
SHIT TO THE IDIOT....GO BACK TO SCHOOL....

* * * * *

EXACTLY!
In Freedom,
Frank Moore

update

well, today I went to my G. P., John Good as a part of the process of getting a second opinion about having the operation to remove the PEG tube. We have been emailing him about how the specialist [hereafter will be referred to as THE IDIOT] was not able to pull the tube out . Doctor Good, like Doctor Kerbavaz, has been our family doctor for over thirty years. In the back of our minds we wished Good would try to pull the tube out. But we didn't think that was in the cards because after all the idiot specialist failed. But when we told Good that the idiot was so uncomfortable around me that he would not talk to me the first time, that he asked if Linda and Mikee really had to be in the room, that the people whose tubes he took out were normally comatose, etc, Good asked if I wanted him to try to pull it out because he shared our concerns about the operation. Of course I said YES! So after two strong pulls with the right intention, THE TUBE WAS OUT! NO OPERATION NEEDED! Dr. Good, like Kerbavaz, is my hero! And I am typing this three hours later!

THE PERFORMANCE IS ON!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Monday, November 29, 2010

RE: update (Suzy)

Sorry to hear this Frank. Well, at least you don’t need the PEG, which is a good thing. Are there other ways to get it out than surgery? Speaking of surgery, Max has to get a tumor removed on Tuesday. Sigh. We are all falling apart, but we are all staying together! Happy Thanksgiving :) Love, Suzy

Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

The Dr. Susan Block Show

* * * * *

is not that quantum physics... Falling apart but staying together?

Max, better be better!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Sunday, November 28, 2010

great visit

it was great to see you guys and good to see an ongoing recovery...I'm sending an article on the PEG stuff...as far as I can determine the removal depends on the type of tube and some are meant to be removed through the mouth. A second opinion is a very good idea, as it seems that a surgical removal is rare. However, there may be other options. And the through the mouth method seems like it's fairly routine with relatively few complications...but they do exist, and are bad. I'll keep looking into it. Anyhow Marjorie really enjoyed meeting you all and sends her love...hope to get down for a gig one of these days...love Steve

* * * * *

ah, yes, Steve! It was fun hanging out with you two! We have been hanging out together for over forty years now, you and I! And we may be hanging out together for years to come!
I have asked Kerbavaz, my ENT doctor who I trust, what are the odds of something going wrong in the operation. We will see!
Great photo /drawing!
tell Marjorie hi. She is great!
In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Re: update (Paul)

Oh shit Frankie....

sorry to hear this.

Conversely, I'm glad you are well enough not to need a PEG.

Odd that this is the first time you're hearing the scoop!

Paul

Re: update (Annie)

Shit. Happy thanksgiving!

Annie

* * * * *

exactly, Annie! Well put! We decided to slow the process way down, cancel the operation, get other options and opinions. Another risk of that "procedure" is tearing the Esophagus ! If that happens, you would need a PEG feeding tube, etc! I don't know yet
the odds of that happening... But...
In Freedom,
Frank Moore

update

ah, well, today at the doctor's office, my PEG [feeding] tube [which I had to let them put in to get out of the hospital] didn't /wouldn't come out even after a couple of hard Yanks... Which turns out to happen in five percent of cases [this was the first time I heard that fact]. So I need to go to the hospital for a operation to remove it. So there is at least one more hoop to jump through in this journey! It also turns out most people keep their tubes in for forever! So removing them ain't an everyday affair! Again that is the first time I heard that!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore

Katie Dawdy commented on your note "on your ? on my health".

Hi Frank,
Katie Dawdy commented on your note "on your ? on my health".
Katie wrote: "Your trach is being taken out? How can you breathe and eat?"

* * * * *

Katie, like how I breathed and ate and drank for the last sixty-four years. Although a lot of "experts" at the hospital didn't think I would reach this point ever [even when Dr. Kerbavaz kept telling them I would]! Actually I could have gotten my trach out a couple of weeks before I did. But I waited until I did my first performance.

in fact tomorrow I am getting my PEG [feeding] tube out. I have not used that for a few months. Tomorrow should be the last hoop of the journey that started in May!

In Freedom,
Frank Moore